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THE DEATH OF PRINT MEDIA, PART 3,605: For those of you who didn't see the latest issue of our print magazine (it's just as awful as the website, only you can read it on the crapper when the wi-fi goes out) we have a couple of items to share. Here's our HITS Contents Dungeon Prisoner of the Week—none other than NARAS chief Neil Portnow. The well-respected exec has faced a daunting challenge: To generate sufficient excitement on Grammy night, following the snubbing of major stars like Justin Timberlake and Jay Z in top categories. But he and his cohorts—producer Ken Ehrlich and CBS exec Jack Sussman—have succeeded in scoring Beyoncé and Jay Z (as we note below), among other top artists. Looks like Music's Biggest Night will be suitably big, despite the speed bumps. And speaking of Beyoncé, the Columbia mega-diva graces our most recent cover. Just in time for Christmas, Queen Bey gave her label and fans a gift that keeps on giving; her self-titled album has passed the 1.5 million mark in just four weeks, building so much momentum that not even appearing on the cover of our sorry rag is likely to slow it down. (1/21p)

NEAR TRUTHS: SPRING BLOOMS
Here come the big guns. (3/28a)
THE COUNT: COLDPLAY IS HOT, COUNTRY'S COOKIN' IN THE U.K.
The latest tidbits from the bustling live sector (3/28a)
CITY OF HOPE TAPS MARCIANO FOR TOP HONOR
This year's philanthropic model (3/28a)
TRUST IN THE TOP 20
Hip-hop is no longer hibernating. (3/28a)
UMG BROADENS SPOTIFY OFFERINGS
Sir Lucian and Daniel are in harmony. (3/28a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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