EMI Fiddles While Terra Firma Burns

TRIAL BY FIRE: Curious how the EMI Music rank and file seem to be oblivious about this Monday’s N.Y.C. trial, which is remarkable considering it’s probably a defining moment for the continued existence of the company. While music group superstar Katy Perry gets set to marry Russell Brand, Terra Firma’s Guy Hands will be trying to pull off a hefty settlement with a divorce from Citigroup. Considering how they’ve been rocked, socked, merged, purged, downsized and written off, it’s understandable if EMI stalwarts are a little numb at this point. Many of those execs are said to hold one-year contracts that continue to extend perpetually for 12 months, meaning, if they get axed, they get one-year payouts. Former N.A. boss Ronn Werre’s settlement is said to have been quite a bit larger than that, and is now reportedly on a tour of third world countries scouting the perfect location for the Perry-Brand nuptials. Will he be dropping in on EMI Kenya and Zimbabwe? (10/14p)

HITS LIST BLASTS OFF
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What did you expect? (4/26a)
SPRING BREAKOUTS: THESE HEATERS ARE STILL HOT
Who's Boomin who. (4/26a)
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Saddle up, cowboys and cowgirls. (4/26a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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