BIBLE CALLED FOR DELAY OF GAME

In a “breaking news” alert late Thursday, the Bible trumpeted, “Beyoncé to Perform at Coldplay's Super Bowl Halftime Show.” That’s big news, to be sure—which is why we posted it last Dec. 3.

Coldplay will headline the Super Bowl halftime show on 2/7,” the item read, “and now comes word that Beyoncé and Bruno Mars will join the band for the festivities.”

We’ll let you know when BB finds out about Bruno and sends a “breaking news” alert to that effect.

HITS LIST BLASTS OFF
Space is the place for Tay. (4/29a)
TAY RACKS UP STATS, OBLITERATES RECORDS
What did you expect? (4/29a)
HIPGNOSIS BOARD APPROVES UPPED BLACKSTONE BID
Let's make a deal. (4/29a)
SONG STREAMS: SWIFT SETS STREAMING RECORD
Another triumph for the master marketer (4/29a)
CLIVE CHATS CLIVE, CARNEGIE HALL TRIBUTE AND MORE
The ageless one is feted. (4/29a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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