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Thursday, March 24, 2016

LOVE THYSELF

During a pre-show ritual, Def Jam's Justin Bieber is joined by manager Scooter Braun and fellow superstar Kanye West and Puffy, among others, for a reflective moment. Having praised the Lord, Biebs proceeded to shake his booty. In a related story, Ted Cruz today called for a government surveillance database of all prayers.

 
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HITS LIST BLASTS OFF
Space is the place for Tay. (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
SONG STREAMS: SWIFT SETS STREAMING RECORD
What did you expect? (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
SPRING BREAKOUTS: THESE HEATERS ARE STILL HOT
Who's Boomin who. (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
SONG REVENUE: “SWEET” SMELLS OF SUCCESS
Life after "Church" (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
STAGECOACH: SETS TO SEE AND PLACES TO BE
Saddle up, cowboys and cowgirls. (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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