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Thursday, July 14, 2016

AN APP-OLOGY TO THE INDUSTRY

We at HITS would like to apologize to the music industry for sleeping on the amazing news that Pokemon Go characters have infiltrated the major record labels. This bombshell report came from the laser-like investigative minds at the Industry Bible, which detailed the various nonexistent creatures from the popular app that had materialized in record executives' offices.

Clearly, we should've been all over this, rather than wasting our time handicapping the likely Grammy nominees, interviewing executives like Mike Dungan or assessing the economic impact of streaming growth. We won't let it happen again.

 
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HITS LIST BLASTS OFF
Space is the place for Tay. (4/26a)
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SONG STREAMS: SWIFT SETS STREAMING RECORD
What did you expect? (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
SPRING BREAKOUTS: THESE HEATERS ARE STILL HOT
Who's Boomin who. (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
SONG REVENUE: “SWEET” SMELLS OF SUCCESS
Life after "Church" (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
STAGECOACH: SETS TO SEE AND PLACES TO BE
Saddle up, cowboys and cowgirls. (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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