ALTERNATIVE FACTS AND PLAQUES

"Contrary to reports in the biased liberal media, I have a lustrous, wavy, full head of hair," declared Capitol's Scott Greer during this plaque presentation commemorating 1m adjusted sales of Jon Bellion's "All Time Low." Later, the following people learned the alternative fact that their sub sandwiches were actually oysters and caviar (l-r): the label's Brittny Silberman, VP Promo Joe Rainey, manager Harrison Remler, Greer, Bellion, EVP A&R Mike Flynn and manager Chris Zarou.

TOP 20: IT’S STILL TAYLOR’S WORLD
What did you expect? (5/1a)
KENDRICK TAKES AIM AT DRAKE WITH "EUPHORIA"
K. Dot is back in a big way. (5/1a)
JAMES KING: THE HITS INTERVIEW (PART ONE)
London calling (5/1a)
BILLIE'S BACK WITH BIG WORLD TOUR
Promises to be a Hard ticket to score. (4/30a)
HIPGNOSIS BOARD APPROVES UPPED BLACKSTONE BID
But it ain't over till it's over. (4/29a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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