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Wednesday, February 15, 2017

CAPTION MUCH FUNNIER IN ORIGINAL RUSSIAN

At Def Jam's dope-a-licious Grammy spectacular, label supremo Steve Bartels holds an impromptu intelligence briefing with chart-topping artist Big Sean and manager Zeno Jones. Steve felt it was important to establish that his administration's overtures to Putin were only regarding tour accommodations at the Moscow Ritz-Carlton.

 
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HITS LIST BLASTS OFF
Space is the place for Tay. (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
SONG STREAMS: SWIFT SETS STREAMING RECORD
What did you expect? (4/26a)
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SPRING BREAKOUTS: THESE HEATERS ARE STILL HOT
Who's Boomin who. (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
SONG REVENUE: “SWEET” SMELLS OF SUCCESS
Life after "Church" (4/26a)
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STAGECOACH: SETS TO SEE AND PLACES TO BE
Saddle up, cowboys and cowgirls. (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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