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Friday, February 17, 2017

YACHTY AND NICE

Quality Control/Motown/Capitol artist Lil Yachty receives a plaque commemorating 1 million combined sales of single "One Night" and 750m streams for his two mixtapes, conferred during a Grammy weekend showcase at Michael Flynn's hidden bunker. Seen preparing to condemn fake news sites like ours are (l-r) Capitol Music Group Chairman/CEO Steve Barnett, prexy Ashley Newton, Quality Control Music COO Kevin "Coach K" Lee, QCM CEO Pierre "Pee" Thomas, Motown prez Ethiopia Habtemariam, CMG COO Michelle Jubelirer, and Motown SVP of A&R Ezekiel Lewis.

 
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HITS LIST BLASTS OFF
Space is the place for Tay. (4/29a)
Check It Out Now
TAY RACKS UP STATS, OBLIERATES RECORDS
What did you expect? (4/29a)
Check It Out Now
HIPGNOSIS BOARD APPROVES UPPED BLACKSTONE BID
Let's make a deal. (4/29a)
Check It Out Now
SONG STREAMS: SWIFT SETS STREAMING RECORD
Another triumph for the master marketer (4/29a)
Check It Out Now
CLIVE CHATS CLIVE, CARNEGIE HALL TRIBUTE AND MORE
The ageless one is feted. (4/29a)
Check It Out Now
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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