HITS LIST: NO FOOLIN’

Chart-topping Jack White is aware of the fact that he looks like Edward Scissorhands. Republic is staffed primarily by Democrats. Tina Tchen knows what FLOTUS stands for. Shawn Mendes knows all the words to “O Canada.” Cindy Mabe can drink Mike Dungan (but not Kacey Musgraves) under the table. Zach Katz is not conversant in German. Archie Davis has never heard of Jughead. Some of these tidbits are factual; however, they’re entirely absent from the annual April’s Fool edition of HITS List. Don’t believe everything you read on Sunday, which is also some sort of religious holiday—or two. We kid you not.

...Click for enlarged view

HITS LIST BLASTS OFF
Space is the place for Tay. (4/26a)
SONG STREAMS: SWIFT SETS STREAMING RECORD
What did you expect? (4/26a)
SPRING BREAKOUTS: THESE HEATERS ARE STILL HOT
Who's Boomin who. (4/26a)
SONG REVENUE: “SWEET” SMELLS OF SUCCESS
Life after "Church" (4/26a)
STAGECOACH: SETS TO SEE AND PLACES TO BE
Saddle up, cowboys and cowgirls. (4/26a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
 Email

 First Name

 Last Name

 Company

 Country
CAPTCHA code
Captcha: (type the characters above)