At Central Park's Heckscher Ballfields, Columbia boss Ron Perry bestows the winning trophy on the Yellow Team after the label's annual intramural softball grudge match. Perry had instructed the players to consult a spreadsheet created by his data analysts that factored in 327 variables to help them decide when to take a swing. Thorough computation of these variables also revealed that it's possible to win the game by having more hits than the other guys. Seen wondering if Doc Ellis was this baked when he threw his no-no are (l-r) Rachel Andrade, Stephen Donaldson, Brian Pramberger, Tori McCue, Cheryl Winston, Max Kaplan, Jason Griffiths, Evan Honor, Adam Alpert, Matt Stevens, Pete Cosenza, Jay Schumer, Inga Kan, Perry, RJ Homola and Rob Silver.

HITS LIST: HORSEPOWER
VRRMMMM (5/17a)
NEAR TRUTHS: VARIANTS
Celebrity death match underway on album chart (5/17a)
OH, TANNENBAUM! ANOTHER GREAT CAREER HITS THE SKIDS
Another talented journalist trapped in the career cul de sac (5/17a)
THE COUNT: LIVE NATION TAPS TYLER, POST, BLINK FOR TOP U.S. FESTS
Cornering the market on surefire headliners (5/17a)
STAPLETON, WILSON BIG WINNERS AT THE ACMs
A genre mash-up at the home of the Cowboys (5/17a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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