AEROSMITH'S HOMECOMING


Aerosmith manager Larry Rudolph, left, hopes Tom Hamilton, Steven Tyler, Joe Perry and Brad Whitford
have no ulterior motives with that cake.

The Shirley Temples were flowing Wednesday night as members of Aerosmith gathered to celebrate the long-awaited implementation of their new deal with Universal Music Group, which brings all their recordings under a single banner.

Last year it was announced that UMG would become the official worldwide home of Aerosmith’s entire recorded-music catalog, future new-music releases, merchandise and audio-visual content; now, with that process complete, it was time for cake.

UMG will also make use of the storied Vindaloo Vaults, the personal archives of Steven Tyler, Joe Perry, Tom Hamilton, Joey Kramer and Brad Whitford. We hear Tyler’s scarves have already been alphabetized by color.

HITS LIST: HORSEPOWER
VRRMMMM (5/17a)
NEAR TRUTHS: VARIANTS
Celebrity death match underway on album chart (5/17a)
OH, TANNENBAUM! ANOTHER GREAT CAREER HITS THE SKIDS
Another talented journalist trapped in the career cul de sac (5/17a)
THE COUNT: LIVE NATION TAPS TYLER, POST, BLINK FOR TOP U.S. FESTS
Cornering the market on surefire headliners (5/17a)
STAPLETON, WILSON BIG WINNERS AT THE ACMs
A genre mash-up at the home of the Cowboys (5/17a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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